We are culturally conditioned to be strong. “Men don’t cry”, and “Perfection in women is likable”. We appear weak if others can find faults in us. Courage is often misinterpreted as having no fear. On the contrary, true courage is doing the right thing despite fear. Fear is an intrinsic bodily emotion, fear and weakness are not something to be shameful about.
“Shame is our fear of disconnection.” - Brene Brown
Humans are social animals. Without the tribe's protection, we may not survive in the wild. Hence, we crave social acceptance and connection. Radical transparency and seeking the truth are about being honest to ourselves and others. Exposing our vulnerabilities to be seen by others is against our nature.
Good leaders are aware of, acknowledge, and accept their vulnerabilities and seek support from team members who complement such weaknesses. Leaders need not be better than their subordinates or team members; good leaders recruit team members better than themselves.
Many employees who lack the growth mindset, resiliency, or courage to face vulnerability will choose an easy exit — resignation. If they face a similar challenge again in the next job, they will continue to hob to another job to escape the problems.
This journal article reflects on the importance of compassion for our vulnerable, true selves. It explains that it is our imperfections that make us beautiful. In order to be accepted in a trusting and inspiring work environment, it is unnecessary to act tough and perfect (in every aspect, never make any mistake) and to invest a lot of energy in covering up our vulnerabilities. It is more productive to be ourselves and comfortable letting our trusted teammates cover our weaknesses.
I realized that could be why I like the Loki TV series more than the Avengers. I can better relate to this God of Mischief in the TV series as Loki shares his vulnerabilities and admits his past mischievous actions were his need for attention and love.
[image source: Marvel Studio, Disney + Loki Season 2]
A fixed mindset will likely give up when we feel incompetent at solving a problem. A growth mindset accepts our current limitations, is willing to seek external help, and is more resourceful in seeking a resolution.