Mindsets
The only thing holding you back is yourself
Choose any object, people, situation, adjective, etc, and try to describe your opinion, belief, knowledge, etc., about the item/topic. The description from you and me or another person could be similar or diverse. We have different sets of mental models about reality, we have different mindsets. Try these items:
money
time
quality
beauty
politician
problem
In Organic Learning, we learned that STATE of being is composed of
Mindset
Physiology
Our state affects how we think, feel, and act. In Organic Learning, we use the term ‘mental model’ about a model of the perceived reality in a very specific context. Mindset, however, is a classification of a set of that we generally see to distinguish sub-groups of mentality.
Mindset is a collection of mental attitudes we possess as our frame of mind.
A mindset consists of a set (multiple) variety of mental models, such as beliefs, concepts, principles, ideas, opinions, etc.
Mindset simplifies the effort to make sense of reality without having to re-examine every bit of information (if it is true or valid).
Mindsets hold the filters, and assumptions of our worldview, it helps us to confidently navigate daily life.
Mindsets affect the emotions we feel, the way we think and our physiological response to daily events.
Mindset is one of the paramount determining factors on the quality of life and our health span when we are on the ‘second mountain’.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” - Socrates
We can use the deductive method to examine an outcome, is the result what we desire or not. What was the response (decision, action) we acted against the triggers from the event? the [X] is our mental model, and we soon see that we hold on to a cluster of mental models as mindsets.
Outcome > Response > [X] > Trigger > Event
The problem is most of us go about our daily chores without the awareness or reflection to validate our mindsets, to question “Is my mental model still valid?”, “Is my mindset empowering me to handle the current situation?”, “Is my mindset working for me or against me?”.
If you want to be the richest person in the world, I believe (see, this is one of my mental models) that you need a series of luck and opportunities that you seize with the right elements. I believe that IQ and competency are secondary to this specific aspect. However, if you want to have a fulfilled life (self-defined success measures, not imposed by society), having empowering mindsets is essential and critical.
My Mindset Journey
My journey on mindset took more than 3 decades.
~1999, before the dotcom burst, I was working for an IT public-listed company, working on a dotcom project for an external client. I still vividly recall the client who is the business owner, whom I have great respect for what he taught me, he was chit-chatting in the meeting room with me about the routine project progress and issue, it was nearly midnight.
When I said, “I am just an engineer…”, he interrupted and told me, “Watch the language you are telling yourself. That is a victim mindset.” That was my first awareness of self-talk and how it relates to mindset and behavior.
In hindsight, I realize that the gardener nurtured a seed in my mind about the “Victim, Villain, or Hero Mindset.”
In 2004, I set up my current company and started my entrepreneurial journey. In the following years, I took courses on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and hypnotherapy and became interested in self-development. For almost two decades, I could not effectively incorporate NLP into daily life. I tried but simply could not master the skill of soliciting ‘models’ from others.
~ In 2019, suddenly, I could see the ‘model’ mentioned in NLP, and I could comprehend the hard-to-digest five disciplines introduced by Peter Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline about Learning Organization.
I am grateful for this client's selfless teaching, and I would, in turn, like to share similar learning with anyone in this newsletter. I find my new purpose to be the gardener and nurture seeds with potential, which is part of the moonshot project to build an Organic Learning Organization.
Core Mindsets
The term ‘mindset’ is used loosely in the context of personal development. There is no agreeable finite list of mindsets.
I believe that any mindset has its pros and cons. In most cases, one mindset may work better than another mindset in a specific context (e.g. schooling, family, professional settings etc.) and season of life. Any mindset taken to the extreme could be problematic to the personality.
If we were fighting in a war, we have the perceived villain (the enemy), the hero (our army), and the victim (the civilians). However, is the true nature of warfare that clean-cut about what is good and what is evil? If a solder has to sacrifice himself and bring down a few other opponents, is that mindset considered Win-Win, Win-Lose or Lose-Lose?
I see an article talking about 110 mindsets. In this weekly public journal, I like to share 4 sets of mindsets that worked for me. They may be beneficial to you too.
(1) Growth vs Fixed Mindset
“Mindset” a book by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., is definitely in my top 10 personal development recommended books. This book popularizes the term Growth Mindset.
“For twenty years, my research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.” — Carol S. Dweck
[Book cover image from Amazon]
Since there are many online resources about Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset, I won’t deliberate about details. I merely highlight a few points that I find interesting.
Learning vs Confidence
“Exploration” vs “Familiarity”
“Stretch” vs “Stability”
“Talent can be learned” vs “Talent is a fixed trait”
“Having a challenge or situation” vs “Having a problem”
Curious vs Defensive
“Value truth” vs “Value being right”
“Creative” vs “Conservative”
“Innovation” vs “Status Quo”
“Seek the truth” vs “Avoid, Denial, or Blame”
“Confront the problem” vs “Avoid any problem”
“Risk-taking” vs “Risk avoidance”
“There is no failure, only outcome” vs “Failure = loser”
“The outcome is only feedback” vs “Outcome defines our egos”
Abundance vs Scarcity
“How can it be possible?” vs “It’s impossible”
“If someone could do it, I can too” vs “Someone’s success = our failure”
“Everything is negotiable” vs “Everything is fixed”
“Enough” vs “Lack”
“Infinite game” vs “Zero-sum game”
This is not to say that a fixed mindset is bad. The fixed mindset protects us and makes us feel safe and confident. However, for organic learning and lifelong learning, a fixed mindset may limit how far we can go before we feel agitated when circumstances push us beyond our comfort zone. So, in general, a growth mindset outweighs a fixed mindset 99:1.
I do like to highlight a major problem with a growth mindset is the possibility of growing without constraint, this is where the Nature and Essentialism mindsets can ensure our growth are sustainable and necessary.
(2) Essentialism vs Non-Essentialism Mindset
I recommend Greg McKeown's book Essentialism—The disciplined pursuit of less. In it, McKeown lays out the structure of how to approach being an essentialist using the 4E framework (Essence, Explore, Eliminate, and Execute).
Less but better vs All things to all people
“I choose to” vs “I have to”
“the disciplined pursuit of less” vs “The undisciplined pursuit of more”
“Only a few things truly matter” vs “It’s all important”
“What are the trade-offs?” vs “How can we fit all in?”
“Choose carefully in order to do great work” vs “Tries to do everything well”
“Why I want this” vs “I want this”
“Fewer things done better” vs "Do well in every aspect”
Essence vs Everything
“Almost everything is non-essential” vs “Almost everything is essential”
“Which problem do I want?” vs “I can do it all.”
“Pays attention to the signal in the noise” vs “Pays attention to the loudest voice”
“Listens what is not being said” vs ”Hears everything being said”
“Play and rest are essential” vs “Working hard is essential”
“If it isn’t a clear YES, then it’s a clear No.” vs “If it isn’t a clear NO, then it’s a YES”
“Make full use of what we have” vs “Want to have new things”
“There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs.” - Thomas Sowell
Eliminate vs Enhancement
“Subtract distractions add impacts” vs “making things better means adding something”
“Comfortable to cut losses” vs “Hates admitting to mistakes, protect sunk cost”
“Detach” vs “Attach”
“See boundaries and structures as liberating” vs “See boundaries as constraining”
“Removes obstacles and frictions to progress” vs “Piles on quick-fix solutions”
“Produce more by removing more (bring forth more)” vs “Does more”
Practical vs Perfection
“Done is better than perfect” vs “This has to be perfect or else”
“This needs to be done” vs “This needs to be perfect”
“Progress is winning” vs “Goal post is victory”
“Pragmatic” vs “Optimum”
“What is the next step?” vs “I need to know everything to move forward”
(3) Nature vs Ego Mindset
The nature mindset is probably the core mindset that distinguishes Organic Learning from the traditional personal development framework. ‘Organic’ encompasses sustainability, connectedness, and a natural worldview. Our upbringing from the Industrial Revolution has a more ego-centric capitalist view.
The concepts of organic learning and ‘nature’ are a bit abstract, so I do not attempt to elaborate on the topic here, but I will do so in future journals. The key objective is to highlight that if one has a Nature Mindset and another holds an Ego Mindset, we have different worldviews because our mental models are different (different mindsets).
Gratitude places our state of mind in an abundant and calming mindset, less stressful than the anticipation mindset which won’t be happy until things are perfect. So embracing a grateful attitude could be helpful in stress management.
Forest vs Tree
“Network” vs “Dots”
“Connectedness” vs “Isolated”
“Interdependent” vs “Independent”
“Spectrum of Grey” vs “Black or White”
“Multiple possibilities” vs “Single right answer”
“Closed-loop” vs “open-ended process”
“Messy mesh reality” vs “straight line solution”
“Distant casual systems thinking” vs “short-sightedness quick-fix”
“Holistic wellbeing of the patient” vs “cure disease and symptom, even if it kills the patient”
Neutral vs Bias
“Effortless (‘Wu Wei’ 无为)” vs “Interference”
“Systems” vs “Goal setting (willpower)”
“I don’t know” vs “I know the answer”
“The elements form the structure with co-existence” vs “There is a designer and owner for the existence”
Grateful vs Entitle
“It happened FOR me” vs “It happened TO me”
“Give and contribute” vs “Gain and get”
“I get to do this” vs “I have to do this”
“Delayed gratification” vs “Instant gratification”
“How can I serve?” vs “What is it in for me?”
Mindset Shift
How can we shift to more empowering mindsets?
I recommend using the 3A 3-step approach to detect (awareness) which limiting mindset is holding you back, and take personal responsibility (acceptance) to take action (adoption).
(a) Awareness
Practice mindfulness (focus on the present moment, reduce distraction), this can increase the sensitivity of our awareness.
Reflection (examining our mental models) and inquiry (examining other people’s mental models) using questions can help us. Journaling can also help us in self-reflection.
Learning (from our coaches, research, studying, and training) and increasing knowledge (T-Shape competency) can help us connect the dots. Enriched vocabulary helps us label reality and construct mental models.
(b) Acceptance
Take ownership of the current reality and outcome from our responses (our thoughts, emotions, and actions).
Accountability enables us to focus on which aspects are beyond our control and what remains within our controls, such as what meaning we want to give to a life event, and what thoughts are helpful responses (instead of letting habits make automatic reactions). Responsibility is our ability to respond.
Acceptance is about being authentic and accepting current reality. We should seek the truth so that we are clear about our current situation (reality) and our vision (what outcome we want).
(c) Adoption
Adopt by learning the necessary principles and practices for a different mindset that could better serve our objectives.
Stay agile and resilient by practicing anti-fragile, and keep pushing ourselves beyond our current comfort zone.
Make tiny and consistent improvements and celebrate the mini progresses
Can we change the mindset of other people?
We cannot instruct or tell anyone to change their mindset. Like habits, mindset is deeply ingrained into the fabric of the human mind, body, and soul. Telling or persuading another person to quit smoking is similar to asking him to change from a ‘fixed mindset’ to a ‘growth mindset’.
What we can do is to raise their awareness, and remove the interference (friction) to let him cultivate the desire to shift (to a new mindset).
be a role model, show by example
introduce more trusted influences
use a coaching approach (strategic questions) instead of authority to inspire Acceptance (self-responsibility, ownership, and desire for the transformation)